A couple things struck me today and made me feel like writing. The first one is that I'm so goddamn horny that I can't go to bed at night without having at least one sex-related dream. Most of them result in the proverbial blue balls (or maybe blue...clit? Vulva? Vagina? There's no real female equivalent to balls, are there...hmmm...) and I'm too disappointed upon waking to finish it off. It's been years since I've been so hard up for naughty time, but I'm not surprised by it. For the first time in a very long time, everything in my life is new. I have new, long term goals that I work toward accomplishing every day, and it feels good. I feel good about myself, for a change, and that makes me feel good about being a sexual person again. And boy howdy, am I ever one of those. If Dude doesn't get here, soon, I might have to invest in the entire line of toys from my catalogs (by the way, have I ever mentioned that I sell sex toys? Yeah, thank goodness, I know), even though toys are never as much fun as the real thing.
Speaking of Dude and him getting here, he's starting to get really nervous about it. He had a mini-freak out yesterday because he's worried about leaving all his friends and family, and he's worried about not having any money. For the record, while earning money once he's here is important, it's not on the top of the list, due to the fact that my student loan money will pay for us to live here, for at least the next year, if not forever. What I do consider to the on the top of the list is that he opens his heart and his mind to all things new. There's no other way for him to make this change in his life and come out of it a happy person. It's hard and lonely sometimes, to pick up and move your entire life across the country, but it's really, really good, too, IF you're willing to embrace it. I'm honestly not 100% confident that he is willing, which will make both of our lives hell for a while, if he doesn't. We'll just have to wait and see, I guess.
Somewhat related to the previous paragraph is that I MISS my friends from home so terribly much! I'm not sure how I'd do this and remain anything but a sobbing pile of shit without facebook. I suppose you could argue that it would be easier without facebook, because I wouldn't have the constant reminder of what's going on with them, but I love it and wouldn't give it up for the world. I've only been here for about six weeks, and as much as I do love it and have embraced it, I feel like the midwest will eventually be my home destination, once I'm through here. And I'm totally cool with that.
