Once again...

I'm writing because I'm depressed. I don't feel the need to write and express myself when I'm happy, the way that I do when I'm not. When I'm sad, it's like this insistent need to get my thoughts out of my head, maybe because I feel like someone will hear them and help me. Help or no help, I do feel better after it's out, so here we go again.

Today I'm feeling like shit because a) it's cold and gray outside so I won't leave the house and that makes me feel like a shut-in loser; b) so many people I know and care about are getting into fitness and health and I want to do the same, but I'm absurdly lazy; c) I have no fucking idea what's going on with my grad recommendation letter writers, but I haven't received anything from any of them and it's starting to piss me off; and d) Dude still has no job and the resulting depression is leaking into my head. I think that's it. There are other, more superficial things that annoy me every day, but they don't cause me to not want to get out of bed.